I have crunched the numbers and analyzed the data. Here’s what I think our guys would choose to see.
We’ve reached the dead zone of the NBA offseason. The draft is far behind, most relevant free agents have signed with teams, and pending trade requests from Damian Lillard and James Harden have crippled the trade market. Everyone has a lot more time on their hands right now, including NBA players. And what better way to while away that time than popping into your local cinema for a movie?
As you may have heard, Friday marks the wide release of two of the most anticipated films of the year: Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer and Greta Gerwig Barbie. The diametric nature of each film’s subject matter and shared release date has inspired the meme-driven internet phenomenon”Barbenheimer,” a concept that has seen the two works pitted against each other in competition and packaged together as a potential double feature. With Barbenheimer Fever sweeping the nation, I had to wonder: where would the Dallas Mavericks’ players stand on this issue? Which movie would they buy a ticket for? After doing some critical research, I think I’ve arrived at the right answers for each of our guys.
Seth Curry
Curry is known to be an elite three-point shooter. That is the basis The Oppenheimers the subject would appeal to him. This one seems like chalk, but I think Seth will be staunchly Team Nolan here.
Luka Doncic
Luka will not watch any of these movies. Originally, I hypothesized that he hasn’t been to an American movie theater since coming to Dallas. But after some digging I found it this report from Brad Townsend which reveals that Luka has both ONE. seen Uncut gems and B. rented out an entire theater for the team to watch the latest Bad Boys movie. So maybe I was wrong and Luka is a huge cinephile after all!
Dante Exum
“Dante Exum” certainly sounds like the name of a hotshot scientist recruited to work on the bomb. “Exum” also sounds like an anagram of IMAX, so you better believe the Australian will be front and center opening night for Oppenheimer.
Josh Green
Mavericks broadcaster Mark Followill often refers to Josh Green as “Mr. Electricity” because of the energy he brings to the court every single night. While that electricity and energy could be taken literally and applied to the components of a nuclear bomb, I’m actually going to go the other way with this one. Green fits right in with that bright, upbeat world Barbie and I can see him vibing with Ryan Gosling and the rest of the Kens.
Tim Hardaway Jr.
This is my first “double duty” enjoyer on the team. Like Curry, you have the obvious appeal of Oppenheimer to a bomber like Timmy. But you also have the pretty boy in him who won’t be able to resist the well-dressed and groomed allure of Barbie. Hardaway will be there for both, no matter what.
Jaden Hardy
Hardy won’t be in any of these movies because he lives in the gym and wants to spend that time getting recorded instead.
Richaun Holmes
The most obvious call on the list for me. Holmes, a certified cinephile, will be at both films on opening night. We have seen one treasury of movie-related tweets from Holmes over the years, and I’ll await his reviews of both movies with bated breath.
Kyrie Irving
Even if Kyrie prefers to stream movies at home on Amazon Prime, I think he’ll buy another ticket Oppenheimer in the near future. And there is no doubt that he will definitely make a conspiracy that none of us can even imagine yet.
Max glue
It is Barbie. I mean, come on. Have you seen this man? He is the Ken plan. You could throw Maxi Kleber into this movie’s cast as “Tall Ken” and no one would bat an eye.
AJ Lawson
This one is hard to read on. I feel like there is a lot about Lawson that we just don’t know. He’s kind of shrouded in mystery. One thing we do know about him is that he is from Canada. You know who else is from Canada? Ryan gosling. One more ticket BarbiePlease.
Derek Lively II
Lively and I already have talked shop about cinemabonding over our mutual love for Jurassic Park movie. So, knowing that Lively is a big fan of blockbuster performances, it’s hard for me to imagine him missing the chance to see any of these movies. I’m not sure if he’ll be double with them, but he’ll definitely be sitting for both.
YesVale McGee
One could argue that the invention of the atomic bomb is the biggest mistake mankind has ever made. The McGee signing was the same for the Dallas Mavericks, so this is another easy one.
Mike Miles Jr.
As we saw in Summer League, Mike Miles Jr. not here to pass the ball. He’s here to get to the bucket. Miles loves to drive the basketball and there are tons of scenes in the trailers for Barbie the feature Margot Robbie drives a car. Miles also went to TCU and purple is pink next to it so I guess he is one Barbie guy.
Dwight Powell
Like his good friend Maxi, Dwight also radiates Kenergy. Powell is consistently one of the best-dressed Mavericks and, like AJ Lawson, hails from the same motherland as Ryan Gosling. Powell, Kleber and Green will surely show up to watch Barbie as quickly as possible.
Olivier-Maxence Prosper
O-Max was recently photographed wearing one Back to the Future shirt, and passes him off as a film lover. The rookie plays with a reckless abandon on the field, qualities that Oppenheimer scientists had when they cooked the bomb. On the other side of the coin, O-Max also has a youthful exuberance that fits right in Barbie universe. He is definitely another dual duty candidate.
Grant Williams
Williams once gave a full post-game interview dressed as Batman. Christopher Nolan directed three Batman films. You combine that with extremely muted color palette Williams rocked when he officially signed with the team, and it’s clear he’ll take his talents to Oppenheimer.
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